Navigating Grief on Mother’s Day: A Faith-Filled Journey through the RUMERTIME Process®

On this Mother’s Day, the absence of my mom feels more profound than ever. It’s a significant first—my first Mother’s Day without her physical presence. In the midst of this grief, my faith and the RUMERTIME Process® provide a framework for navigating these choppy emotional waters. This approach helps me, and potentially others, to process our thoughts, interactions, mindsets, and emotions (TIME®) as they relate to grief and loss.

Faith and Understanding of Death: Reflecting on Mammy’s Legacy

My faith reassures me that the dead are at rest, knowing nothing until the resurrection. This belief comforts me deeply, as I know my mom, whom I affectionately call Mammy, is at peace, awaiting the second coming of Jesus Christ. It’s a promise of reunion that softens the sting of death, framing my grief with hope rather than despair.
Mammy’s legacy as a spiritual mentor, confidante, and the most influential person in my life is a treasure I hold dearly. Her teachings and example have left a legacy of faith, prayer, courage, and love that continues to inspire us. Her profound connection with God and her powerful intercessory prayers left an indelible mark on not only her family but also on everyone fortunate enough to have known her.

Living with a clear purpose, Mammy’s life was a testament to authentic living. She didn’t merely speak about leaving a legacy; she lived it every day, depending moment by moment on the Holy Spirit and her beloved “Papa God” to guide and companion her. Without explicitly setting out to leave a legacy, she indeed left us a profound one—marked by faith, prayer, generosity, grace, love, and a total surrender and dependence on Jesus.

The last time we gathered on December 26, 2023, Mammy shared something significant, “All I want you all to do is to be faithful, and encourage each other.” Today, as we celebrate her life and legacy on this Mother’s Day without her physical presence, I pass this message on to you with all the love and respect I hold for her: “Encourage each other and be faithful.” Whether you are a person of faith or not, you exist on purpose and for a purpose. Live out your purpose fully, as Mammy did, embracing every moment with faith and a heart full of love.

Mental Health Implications of Losing a Mother: A Social-Ecological-Cognitive-Behavioral-Emotional Perspective

The loss of a mother is a deeply significant life event that can profoundly affect mental health. This impact is not just emotional but spans across social, ecological, cognitive, and behavioral dimensions of one’s life. Understanding this through the lens of GCSCORED’s holistic view on mental health helps in addressing the deep-rooted effects of such a loss.

Social Implications

Losing a mother can disrupt the social fabric of an individual’s life. A mother often plays a central role in the family dynamic, influencing relationships and social interactions. The void left by her absence may lead to a reevaluation of familial roles and can strain relationships as the family adjusts. Building relational capacity becomes crucial here, as the remaining family members and friends need to support each other, fostering resilience and adjustment to this new reality.

Ecological Implications

The ecological aspect considers the environments we operate in, such as home, work, and community. The loss of a mother might lead to significant changes in these environments. For instance, her absence may affect the support dynamics at home, altering the sense of security and stability. In the workplace or school, the grief may impact one’s performance and interactions, necessitating understanding and support from peers and supervisors. Integrating resources from these environments effectively is vital to managing grief and fostering mental health recovery.

Cognitive and Behavioral Implications

Cognitively, the loss of a mother can lead to persistent thoughts of grief, sadness, or even guilt, which can influence behavior patterns. Individuals might find themselves pulled away from usual activities or feel overwhelmed by tasks that were previously manageable. Behaviorally, this might manifest as withdrawal from social settings, changes in sleeping or eating patterns, or decreased productivity. It’s essential to recognize these symptoms as natural responses to grief, encouraging therapeutic or supportive interventions that address these cognitive and behavioral shifts.

Emotional Implications

Emotionally, the bereavement process can vary widely among individuals. While some may experience profound sadness, others might feel a complex mix of relief (especially after a prolonged illness), confusion, or even anger. These emotions are natural fruits of the grieving process and require acknowledgment and expression in healthy ways.

Achieving Triadic Balance

To achieve a triadic balance of social, ecological, and emotional well-being, it is crucial to consciously integrate the roots—which include building and maintaining strong relationships—and the conditions that foster healthy growth and development. This means ensuring that adequate resources are available at home, in educational settings, at the workplace, and within the community.

Strategies for Support

• Community and Social Support: Engage with support groups or counseling services that can offer understanding and shared experiences.
• Home Environment: Ensure that the home environment adapts to meet the new emotional needs of all family members, promoting a space where open communication and support are prioritized.
• Work and School Adjustments: Employers and educational institutions should provide accommodations such as grief counseling or time off, recognizing the profound impact of such a loss on performance and engagement.
• Personal Coaching or Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral coaching or therapy can help individuals navigate their thoughts and behaviors during this time, offering strategies to cope with the change in life circumstances.

By viewing the mental health implications of losing a mother through this comprehensive framework, individuals and their support networks can better understand and manage the complex web of consequences that follow, ultimately leading to a path of healing and adaptation.